Father's Day

While many of you out there are celebrating with your dads today I know there are just as many who are hurting, lonely, confused, angry, and wishing this day would just go away! For the majority of my life I was in the latter group of people. I dreaded this day and looking at all those cheesy cards just fueled my anger and resentment. I remember thinking on numerous occasions that the greeting card companies should throw in a section for bad fathers. Where do you get a card that says "thanks for never showing up, skipping out on your child support, breaking all your promises, and showing me what kind of man NOT to look for in a husband"? Yeah... pretty sure those wouldn't sell very well.

Of course, I am not still angry, I don't hold on to any of that resentment. My father and I have found a good place where we have a fun and loving relationship. I have found healing and peace through my Heavenly Father. I have found an understanding and a forgiveness for my father and the choices he made. But oh what a long and difficult road it was to get here. We have both cried enough tears to fill the Grand Canyon, and we've yelled and screamed loud enough and long enough to shame a NASCAR race. Getting to a place where we can have a real father/daughter relationship was HARD, and some times I wondered if it would ever be worth it, if it would ever get better, if it would ever stop hurting.

So today, I want to devote my blog to those of you who are still in that bad place. Those of you who don't have a relationship with your father. Those who are still hurting and angry, lost and hurt, those who are wishing this day would just end, who are wishing they could just set fire to every cheesy father's day card in sight. I want to talk to those people today, and maybe speak a little hope and a little love and a little life to them.

I know it's not easy going through life without the support and love we feel we are owed by our fathers. It's not easy when you have this image in your head of what a father should look, think, act, and be like and then the father you get falls terribly short. I know how much that hurts. My childhood was hard. Really hard. My parents separated when I was two. My mother started dating a man when I was four and remarried when I was eight. The first father life gave me walked away. The second father was abusive. And I felt like I was the common denominator in the equation. I fell into a pit of self pity and self loathing. I blamed myself for everything and felt like I was unworthy of anyone's love. I even created an image in my head of God based on the examples of fathers I had seen on Earth.

I did have a couple of really good examples of fathers in my life and I am so thankful for those. Without them you guys might be reading a very different blog today. My grandfather was very involved in my life and he was the most perfect daddy I think any girl could ever ask for. He was kind and gentle just stern and a disciplinarian when he the need arose. He was a wise and hard working man, he was old fashioned and stickler for respect and dignity. The other big influence in my life was my mom's best friend's husband. I called him Uncle Roy and they lived next door to us, less than 100 yards away. He was and still is the perfect example of a Godly man, husband, and father. He is not perfect himself but he lives his life in a just and honorable way. He is devoted to the Lord, his family, and his church [in that order]. He lives by faith and guides by example. He is a hardworking man who will stop at nothing to provide for his family. He is a kind man who would give you the shirt off his back if you needed it.

Those two may have been my saving grace, but for many years I felt really confused. I was always told that God was our father and here I had two very different views of the word "father". So I was confused. Which type of father is God? Is he the father that loves and provides for me no matter what? Is he the father that only shows up when it benefits him? Is he the father whose love is strictly performance based? I spent so many years lost and wondering but never finding the answers. I got angry and resentful and turned as far away from God and all of those father figures as I could. I let my life get out of control.

But then in the past few years as I have turned to God and He has turned my life around I have discovered some truths that I want to share with the people who are still out there struggling. God is not like any father you have seen or met here on Earth. God is the original father, the perfect Father, and He intended for men to follow His lead and mirror Him in the fathers that they become and how they love their children. So if you're basing your view of God on any human man you've met, throw that out, forget it. Let's start with a clean slate.

God has promised us that:

• We don't have to worry, He will provide. Matt 6:25
• We don't have to fear, He will protect us. Deuteronomy 23:14
• We don't have to wander, He will guide us. Exodus 15:13
• We don't have to earn grace, Jesus has done that for us. Romans 5:8
• We don't have to fear judgement. Romans 8:1
• We don't have to worry about losing His love. Romans 8:38-39
• We are precious to Him. Isaiah 43:4
• We are never alone, He is with us always and knows us. Psalm 139
• We can do all things through Him. Philippians 4:13
• We are healed through him. Psalm 147:3
• We will be restored. Isaiah 58:11-12

He has promised us all of this and much, much more. He loves us with a perfect and unfailing love. His love never ends, it never gives up, it never runs out on us. No matter what hurt your earthly fathers have inflicted on you, you Heavenly Father is waiting, with arms open wide, to cleanse and heal your heart of all of those hurts and wounds and scars. He will take you and make you whole again. He will love you beyond our human understanding. Human fathers make mistakes, they make bad choices, some of them are down right cruel and evil and do things we could never understand. But your Heavenly Father offers you protection and unending love and acceptance. Will you accept Him this father's day? Will you allow Him to come into your life and your heart and make you brand new? If you are ready, or think you are ready for that, please contact me. Let me pray with you and walk with you as you begin your journey toward Christ and start a relationship with Him. As always, my thoughts, prayers, and love are with you all.

You'll never know unless you ask

I woke this morning to a major shock. I live in a very small southern town where bad news spreads like wild fire in July. So it was only minutes after sitting down with my coffee that I got news of the passing of a close family friend. It is with great sadness and shame that I have to confess... I have known the man for 28 years and not one single time have I ever asked him if he knew Christ. I never took the time to ask him if he was saved. For fear of rejection or that I might offend or anger him, I didn't ask. I didn't approach the subject, even when given opportunities at work or in the community.

He was a good man. He worked hard. He was involved in the community and the schools. He loved his kids with a fierce passion that you don't see from dads as much these days. If he considered you his friend there was nothing he wouldn't do for you. You could call him any time for any thing. I called him once at 11 at night to come and get a tiny little garden snake out of my house because I was too afraid to touch it. He came without hesitation. He was a good man.

But being a good man doesn't get you to Heaven. You can not enter the kingdom on works alone. God can not look upon sin, he can not be in the presence of sin. That is why Jesus Christ came to Earth, the son of God and the son of Man, and lived a perfect life in order to be a perfect sacrifice for us. None of us is able to live a perfect, sin free life. None of us is worthy of spending eternity in the presence of God. But Jesus was and is perfect, Jesus is worthy of eternity seated at the right hand of God. So it is only through Christ's redeeming blood that we are saved.

When you accept that good and perfect gift, that sacrifice that Jesus made for you on the cross, it is like putting on one of those silly tee shirts that says "I'm with him". When you get to the gates of Heaven and the book of life is opened it's like the VIP list at a black tie event, your name is on the list. Before you accept Christ your name is on the 'do not admit' list. The very moment that you accept Christ and are washed in His blood you're a VIP guest in Heaven for all eternity. You get you're "I'm with Jesus" shirt. There is nothing else that will get you in. NOTHING. No good works, no being a "good" person, no amount of volunteer hours or good Samaritan acts will get you there. ONLY Christ's blood will cover your sins so that you can stand before God and enter into His kingdom.

So today I don't know if my friend is in Heaven or not. There is no way of me knowing for sure what was in his heart. So I won't know until I get there myself. But my question to you today is, will you go to Heaven? If you pass today, as unexpected as my friend, will you enter the Kingdom? What about the people around you? Your loved ones? Friends? Family? Co-workers? Even your fellow church members, just because they are in the pew every Sunday doesn't mean they have accepted Christ. I spent years in those same pews with only a head knowledge of God's love for me. Are the people around you saved? If you don't know the answer go today, right now, and ask them. It might be a little scary, it might be uncomfortable, it might even start some very hard conversations, but their salvation is at stake here. Don't let another day go by without asking them.

My thoughts and prayers are with you all, that you might find the courage to do what I never did for my friend.

Stop Struggling

Do you ever feel like this life is one struggle after another? Do you feel like you're constantly working to be more, do more, try harder, accomplish more, please more people, please God? I know I have felt that way at times. As I was growing up my understanding of God and religion was all performance based. I felt like I had to do every thing right and every thing perfect, and hide every mistake or imperfection, or the church and God would turn their backs on me, shun me, stop loving me, and never ever let in again.
It was a very depressing, discouraging place to live. I was so sad and so burdened all the time. I would try to hard to be perfect and it was so exhausting. Then when I would mess up, make a mistake, back slide, stumble, or fall I would try so desperately to sweep it under the rug, hide it in the closet, cover it up and camouflage it so no one would ever see, so maybe God wouldn't notice... I was a MESS and I was EXHAUSTED, and I was so, so sad and alone. Can you relate? Does any of that strike a cord with you? If so, please know that you are NOT alone and there is hope, there is an end to your struggle.

Psalm 139:7-12
"Where can I go from your Spirit?
    Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
    if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
    if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
    your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
    and the light become night around me,”
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
    the night will shine like the day,
    for darkness is as light to you."

You might be thinking "yeah right, no way she understands what I'm going through, if she did she would know there is no way out, there is no end. What does she know about my struggle?" Oh, believe me... I know!! See, I spent most of my 28 years believe that God's love for me was based solely on how "good" I could be, and how well I could follow all of His "rules". When I was 17 I broke my "True Love Waits" promise less than a month after I made it. That's when the enemy attacked with his lies. I listened and believed the enemy when he said it was no use trying any more, I had sinned the worst sin, I had broken a promise to God and He would never love me again. So from that point on I fell further and further away from God. I figured "what's the use" I'll never be perfect, I've already messed up so much, might as well enjoy life. I slide into some very, very dark places over the next few years. From 17-23 I was wild, to say the least. My days and nights were filled with lots of alcohol, loud music, random men, even a few drugs. I was so far down the tunnel that light on the other side was no where to be found. Then I found myself pregnant, married to a man who was cheating 2 months into the marriage, and burying a man that I loved as my brother who was only 6 months younger than me. You would think that was my rock bottom... but no... I'm pretty thick headed, not even those circumstances could get my attention.
Fast forward 2 years... I'm raising my child without a father or husband, I'm taking care of a sick mother, my income was no where near even making ends meet... every month I might as well be pulling names out of a hat to see which bills would get paid and which ones wouldn't. By this time we had found a new church home and I was going every week, going through the motions, but still only clinging to a head knowledge of Christ, not a heart knowledge. I wanted to raise my child to know Christ but I thought I was already a lost cause, I had already messed up and God couldn't love me, might as well try really hard to make sure he still loved my kid. And then... my son got sick. Talk about rock bottom... this was it. We had NO clue what was wrong with my son or what we would do about it. We needed to go to Fort Worth to see specialists but we had no money. Long story short, in the end my son was fine. But through the process we found a church family that loved us, prayed for us, and never left us. We found resources and friends who helped get us to appointments. I found a God who never left me, who never stopped loving me, even when I had fallen so far I thought I was all alone... He was there the whole time. When I had no where else to turn, no one else to lean on, when I thought all hope was gone... God picked me up, dusted me off, and set my feet on solid ground. He wrapped his healing arms around my son and my heart.
You see... His love for us is NEVER performance based. He loved us before we even came to existence. In the very beginning when he created the world, YOUR name and MY name was on his lips. When he sent his son to be born through a human woman our names were on his mind. When his only son was put up on a cross to die for sins he had never committed, our names were on his heart. Jesus has done all the work. Jesus made that good and perfect sacrifice. He paid our debts! He preformed PERFECTLY so that we don't have to! He died so that we don't have to! He bridged the gap between us and the Father. The wages of sin WAS death... until Jesus robbed death of it's sting. Jesus overcame that grave and rose again so that we might live through him. There is no good work that you could do or need to do to gain God's love and affection... it's already there... a good and perfect love for each of us.
You don't have to keep struggling, friend. Stop trying so hard. Stop trying to be perfect. Stop trying to hide your imperfections. Just stop. Breathe. And rest in the freedom of Jesus' finished work. He did all the hard work for us. All we have left to do is believe and accept it and walk with Him in the freedom and joy of His grace and love. 

Ephesians 2:8-9 "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast."

Being Consistent

Good Morning sweet friends!! I hope that you are all having a wonderful Sunday and that you woke up feeling the love of our Heavenly Daddy wrapped around you. If you did not wake up feeling that I would love to talk and pray with you sometime. You can find me on Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/mamajordan914] or on Twitter [https://twitter.com/PlexusByJordan]

I know it has been a while since I posted... I have no excuses... I allowed life and other events to come first in my life and have neglected the thing that God had called me to do. But He has continued to nudge me, and occasionally kick me in behind, about it... and although it may have taken me a while to get the hint... I'm baaaaaaaaaaack!! LOL

But this leads me to what I want to talk about today. I struggle, BIG TIME, with being consistent in my walk with Christ, and I think that many of my brothers and sisters may feel the same way. So I want to take the time to lift each other up and support each other in that struggle. Although Grace is not a license to sin, it is a promise and a guarantee that God's love will never fail you, it will never be taken away, it will never run out. No matter how far you have strayed from Him, how long you have been walking on your own instead of turning to Him, no matter how "big" or "small" you think your sin is... His love will always be there; His arms will always be open wide, waiting to welcome you back; The offer He extended to us on that cross still stands; His love and forgiveness will continue to be poured into you, over and over again.

I started this year out on FIRE! And that's not the first time either. For those of us who have been raised up in the church you may have gone to a summer camp or two... or so many you lost count. Do you recall that sort of "high" you came home with? That feeling of such excitement and exuberance that you could hardly contain yourself? You felt an urgency to  start doing EVERY thing for God. You wanted to join every single ministry, every mission, every group, class, bible study you could reach. You felt like you wanted to morph from a baby christian to full grown christian and instantly grow spiritually over night, right? [please tell me I'm not the only one LOL]
Well, that's how I started the year. I was "all gung ho" as we say in Texas. I had just rededicated my life to Christ and then attended a women's retreat that left me feeling on cloud nine and so confident that I was this brand new person in Christ. Now, don't get me wrong, I am brand new, HE has fully restored and redeemed me and I am NOT the same person I was before... but, this does not make me immune to sin or make me completely grown spiritually. So in my new found euphoria I started not one, but two, new bible studies at once. I began a reading plan to read the entire Bible in a year. I was trying to really get this blog going. I even approached some others about beginning a ministry within my church. And then, I piled on work, raising a preschooler, running my own home business, and attempting to have a social life. I know some of you are probably thinking "is she crazy?" and the jury is still out on that. So it may be more obvious to everyone else than it was to me but I tackled way too much way too soon, and that burning to desire to follow and serve Him started to fizzle.
It didn't take long until I began to miss days on my bible studies or devotional or reading plan. Then I got lax on my blog and my home business. That's when the enemy began to attack. He whispered lies in my ear, because that is what he loves to do, and I began to listen because I took my eyes off of the Lord. I reverted back to my old ways of thinking.

• How will I get every thing done?
• How will I take care of every thing?
• How can I be better?
• I will never be good enough.
• I will always disappoint someone.
• I will never change.

Do you ever feel that way? Do you ever have those "not good enough" thoughts? Did you know that those are the enemy talking? Thoughts and feelings like that are not God's words and are not God's way of communicating with us. Those feelings are attacks from Satan. The enemy wants us to feel that way. He wants us to believe that we have to earn our salvation and grace. He wants to fill us up with LIES so that we feel sad, lonely, and too ashamed to turn to our Father. When we are thinking about ourselves, how we are preforming, what others are thinking of us, etc, we are turning our attention away from God and His will for us. That is exactly what the enemy wanted!! He wants to turn us away from the light of God's truth and into the dark shadows of his lies.

Periods of inconsistency are going to happen. Seasons of chasing after God instead of following His lead are going to happen. From time to time you are going to stray away from Him. That is what we do... we are human... we are not perfect, we never will be, therefore we will never follow Him perfectly or be consistent 100% of the time. But here is the good news... we don't have to. We don't have to be perfect. We don't have to do every thing right all of the time. When Jesus died on that cross He rescued and redeemed you from all of that. He stood in for you, he took the punishment and death that you and I deserved, and he paid our debts in FULL.

Does He want us to follow Him consistently, all the days of our lives? Yes, of course He does!! I want my son to listen, behave, and mind me consistently all the day of his life, too! Is it always going to happen? HA! Of course not!! Am I always going to love him even when he messes up? Of course! My love for my child will never end. Will I always welcome my son with open arms to try harder next time and help him learn from his mistakes? Absolutely!! Every single time! THAT is the exact same way that God feels about you and me!!! Even when you are not consistent God loves you, forgives you, upholds you, supports you, protects you, and continues to guide you. 

When you are feeling inadequate, alone, afraid, unloved, or forgotten remember the promises God has made to you. You are chosen [Isa. 43:10]! You are redeemed [Isa 43:1]! You are loved and cherished [Isa 43:4]! You are never forgotten [Isa 49:16]! Never forget who you belong to, you are a child of the one true King!!! Do not let life overwhelm you, turn toward God and rely on the light of His truth to see you through the darkest nights. Do not allow Satan's lies to fill your head and drag your heart down, fix your eyes and your thoughts on God and His thoughts about you instead. His love and grace are perfect... you don't have to be!

So stop chasing God or your salvation or perfection and rest in the peace and power of His redeeming blood. Choose today to follow Him to the best of your ability. Forget how you failed Him yesterday. Don't think about how you might fail him later. Focus on today, this moment, and choose to serve and honor Him. Then choose the next moment and the next and the next. When you mess up or stray, because you will, do not dwell on it. Acknowledge it, talk to Him about it, and then LET. IT. GO. and start again tomorrow.

I hope you find some comfort and encouragement in this. My thoughts, love, and prayers are with all of you all the time!

-Jordan :)

My Apologies

To my dear friends and readers...
I owe you all an apology... I have severely neglected this blog over the past couple of months. My work and home life have gotten very hectic and busy. My son just started T-ball. My home business seems to be taking off like crazy... but those are not excuses. Those things are going on in my life right now but I take full responsibility for allowing Satan to use those things to distract me from what God is calling me to do. I have felt the pull and heard the whisper almost daily for the last couple of months to come back to this blog and finish the good work He started here. Then something else would come up and instead of blocking out time for this I allowed those distractions to pull me away again. For that I am so very, very sorry.
That being said... I am working on a new blog. I tend to write 2 or 3 drafts before I publish on here for you guys so just hang tight! I know I should probably relax a little, let go of the perfectionism and OCD tendencies, but.... well, let's just save that battle for another day... one small goal at a time, right? I am still a work in progress!!
In the mean time... here is a question to reflect on until my next blog post.... Do you ever feel like you can't follow God consistently? Do you feel like a "bad" Christian when you are inconsistent? I know I have fallen into those ruts of not following Him as I should [umm, hello! I neglected my blog for 3 months] and when I do I feel ashamed and like a chastised child in the corner. So on the next blog we are going to talk about those feelings and where they really come from! And hopefully find some encouragement and inspiration for each other to be more consistent in the future! What'd ya think? Will you guys forgive me and come on back for some more fellowship real soon?
As always, my thoughts, love, and prayers are with each of you! Happy Sunday everyone!!
love,
Jordan

Our Father's Love

Good morning, Friends! I am sorry it has taken me so long to post again, I have spent the better part of the week preparing this blog post, praying over it, thinking back on many of the things I heard at the Cowgirl Get Together. I wanted to make sure I get this right! It's a message very close to my own heart, as I was writing it and searching verses God was speaking and ministering to me more than anything. He is preforming good works in my heart each and every day and I feel him urging me to share it with others. I know I must sound like a broken record by now, but if only one person is touched by something written in these posts I would be thrilled. To touch even one life and help them find a personal relationship with my sweet Jesus would be the highest honor of my entire life. Well, enough of that... let's get to it!

Friends, for many years I lived in darkness, knowing about God, but never knowing God; believing in God but not truly believing Him. I knew only the basics and had never gone very deep in the word to find out more. I had never really sought after God. I thought I knew all I needed to know. If you have heard or read my testimony I touched on this briefly. Today I would like to walk with you through some verses of scripture that have helped me discover who and what God really is and how He cares for us. I could just about reference the entire Bible when I start thinking of the many verses where he reveals his deep, passionate, unending affections for us. But let's start with one of my favorites:

"See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know Him!" 1 John 3:1

Friends, don't skim over this verse. Read it slowly, even out loud, so you can hear it. You. Are. A. Child. Of. The Living GOD! You are special and loved and not of this world. When people of this world don't understand you or your beliefs, or your love for God, pay them no attention! They beat and KILLED Jesus... they didn't understand him either! But He overcame their opinions, He overcame DEATH! Who cares what they think? Your Father is THE King of ALL Kings! You are a princess [or prince] and your home is now here, it is in Heaven! Knowing and understanding that you are God's child will make accepting and understanding his love for you a little easier, at least for those of us who are parents ourselves. But others of us have been hurt too many times, even by parents, so maybe we need more proof.

If you are anything like me, or come from a background similar to mine, maybe you are still hearing Satan's favorite lie about you: that we are bad and terrible and that God's love for us is performance based or conditional. Well thankfully God knew the hard heads like me would need to see it clearly, in writing, that Satan is a big, fat, lying, LIAR. He gave us some very specific passages that debunk the thoughts that we need to earn his love.

Let's go to Romans, one of my very favorite books. It is full of God's promises to us, almost like a love letter to us. I could quote page after page of Romans for y'all [don't worry I won't], but Romans 4:25 states it pretty clearly to me.

"He (Jesus) was delivered over to death for OUR sins and was raised to life for OUR justification." emphasis mine

Because we were/are sinners who did not deserve God's love, Jesus, a perfect being, died for us. If you think His love needs to be earned, bought and paid for, rest in the truth that Jesus Christ has already paid your tab. But continue reading, it gets even better!

"Therefore, since we have been justified through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly." Romans 5:1-6 emphasis mine

These verses make me want to just close my eyes, lean my head back, open my arms, and feel that love pouring into me. I can just imagine God wrapping his arms around me and whispering in my ear, "see how much I love you, Jordan? See what I have done for you? There is NOTHING that could ever hold back my love for you, just open your heart and receive it."

I get choked up just writing this. His love is so big, so endless, so beautiful, it takes my breath away. And if that weren't enough he backs up all those promises throughout his word. When he tells me nothing can hold back his love for me, I know it's true because Romans 8:38-39 says:

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present, nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

When he tells me I have been justified and no sin can be more powerful than that salvation, I know it's true because Romans 8:1 says so:

"Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus."

And 2 Corinthians 5:17-18 says:

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: the old has gone, the new is here! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation."

You see, like any good and loving parent, our flaws and failures do not stop or change our Father's love for us. Even when my son screams and yells and throws a fit, and tells me what a mean and terrible momma I am and he hates me, I still love him. I still want to wrap my arms around him and tell him it's all going to be OK and mommy loves him no matter what. God feels that same way toward us. Even when we sin, when we mess up and fall down, and kick and scream, throw a fit, and blame everything and everyone but ourselves, God still wants to gather us up, kiss away the boo-boos, and tell us everything will be OK. In Zephaniah 3:15 we are told this wonderful promise:

"The Lord has taken away your punishment, he has turned back your enemy. The Lord, the King of Israel, is with you; never again will you fear any harm."

And verse that same passage in verse 17 he goes on to tell us:

"The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing."

Take comfort in this friends. When the Bible calls him the Father it is not just to sound pretty. He loves us as a father does, with a fierce, strong, passionate, perfect love that will NEVER go away. He will guides us, some times gently, other times not so gently, through life just as a father does. He will care for us and protect us, support and uphold us. Just as he promises to us in Isaiah 43:1-4

"But now, thus says the Lord, who created you, O Jacob, and He who formed you, O Israel: "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, nor shall the flame scorch you. For I am the Lord your God, The Holy One of Israel, your Savior; I gave Egypt for your ransom, Ethiopia and Seba in your place. Since you were precious in My sight, You have been honored, and I have loved you."

Isn't that a comfort to read? See, friends? No matter what past experiences you have with "fathers" who fell short, no matter what old scars or wounds you still have, know this: You are made BRAND NEW in Christ Jesus. You are now a child of the living God, the king of ALL kings. And he says you are justified, you are redeemed, you are reconciled, you are loved, you are cherished, you are protected, you are FREE from ALL Judgements or condemnation of this world. GO AND LIVE IN THE FREEDOM OF HIS LOVE, MERCY, AND GRACE!!!

I love you all and my thoughts and prayers are with you always!

My Made to Crave Journey day 1

So it is week one, day one, of a new online bible study from Proverbs 31 Ministries. I did A Confident Heart by +Renee Swope in October, ending in early December, and it was LIFE ALTERING, as some of you may already This month we are starting one called "Made to Crave" by +Lysa TerKeurst and I think it is going to be just as amazing! Today was the first day and I read chapter one. My socks + Made to Crave = ROCKED!!! [yes I am a dork, but I am already blown away by the feeling of empowerment in this very first chapter]

At the end of the chapters there is a section of "personal reflections". These questions/reflections were very difficult for me. They really made me think... and, well, reflect. I wrote down my reflections in a notebook I will be keeping during this study and although I won't always share every detail with my blog fans, there is a point, or maybe a few points, I thought I would share today. I know there are countless women, and even men too, out there who feel the same way I do, who struggle with daily cravings and addictions too. More than 40,000 women signed up for this study so I know I am not alone. But for those who are not signed up, those that have not found this study or one like it yet, for those who might just happen upon my blog, I want to reach out and let y'all know, you're not alone either!! The whole purpose of this blog has been to reach out to people who are as lost as I was and let them know it's OK... it's OK to still be finding your way, it's OK to mess up sometimes, it's OK to be a 'baby Christian', and it's OK to seek and ask for help. So... if you struggle with any kind of addiction, my friends, read on! and stay tuned through the next few weeks... I have a feeling God is about to do something REALLY big!!!

So, here are the things I learned in chapter one today...
1. We were made to crave God and only God... when we crave other things like money, sex, food, drugs, alcohol... whatever addiction you struggle with that comes before God, we are allowing that object and Satan to control us. We are prisoners of that addiction. God never intended for us to live like that. There is freedom in the blood of Jesus and God wants us to crave a relationship with Him so that we can live in THAT freedom, NOT live in the restraints of worldly addictions.

2. There are three ways that Satan tempts us into craving worldly things instead of God. Cravings for physical things such as food, sex, alcohol, etc. Lust of the eyes, or wanting what we see, such as money, social standing, etc. and Boasting, or finding our significance some where other than in God, such as name dropping, bragging, or exaggerating stories, etc. When we allow God to provide our physical needs, our material needs, and base our identities and significance on who God says we are, we won't need to search for those things any where else BUT Him.

3. When you focus on the prize [salvation and Heaven] and submerge yourself in the word of God you will be less susceptible to Satan's temptations. When you God is on your side, and you are armed with His word and His promises, nothing can stand against you. No matter what your addiction is, it will never be stronger than the power of the blood and the power of the word.

This third part is the part I really want to share with you guys. I have a lot of thoughts and reflections about this part and I feel strongly that I need to put them out there. Y'all know I can get carried away every now and then so just hang in there with me...
God's word is mighty powerful and alive and active. All we need to do is read it, let it sink into our souls, and let it work! God does not speak just to hear himself talk, He sends out His word with a purpose and a reason and it will not come back to Him empty. When he sends rain it does a job and does not return to the Heaven's until it has done that job or nourishing the Earth. How much more powerful and beneficial do you think the word of God can be than mere rain? When He sends out his word it will do great things, but if we aren't living in that word we can and will miss out that amazing power. Ephesians 6:10-20 speaks of the Armor of God. That armor comes from the word of God. The belt of truth... God's word... the readiness that comes from the Gospel of peace... God's word... the sword of the Spirit which is the word of God. When these things are teamed up with a righteous heart and the shield of faith you will be unstoppable, my friends!! The more you read his word and the more time you spend talking with and spending time with God the stronger your armor will get. Your shield of faith will grow stronger too, as you get to know God and as you call on his name in different situations and he comes through for you, time and time again, your faith will grow stronger and stronger. Just like Gideon in Judges chapters 6 and 7, he asks God several times to prove himself. Gideon tests God, so to speak, and each and every time God does exactly what Gideon asks Him to do. With each test Gideon's faith grew stronger and stronger until he was a mighty warrior standing tall and ready to do battle for the Lord... and God delivered the Midianites into Gideon's hands just as he promised he would. Now I am not telling you to "test" God, but I promise that as you seek him and seek the truth if you go to him in prayer asking for his strength, even ask him to show his faithfulness to you, he will not disappoint you. He will reveal himself to those who seek him and as he does your faith will grow stronger. As you get to know him better and better through his word your faith will grow stronger. His love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out. The deeper into the word you get and the more you see the evidence of this the stronger your armor will get.
Now let's go take a look at how Satan tempted Jesus and see God's word in action!

"Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. After fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry. The tempter came to him and said, “If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread.” Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’ Then the devil took him to the holy city and had him stand on the highest point of the temple. “If you are the Son of God,” he said, “throw yourself down. For it is written: “'He will command his angels concerning you, and they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.’" Jesus answered him, “It is also written: ‘Do not put the Lord your God to the test.’ Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor. “All this I will give you,” he said, “if you will bow down and worship me.” Jesus said to him, “Away from me, Satan! For it is written: ‘Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only.’ Then the devil left him, and angels came and attended him." Matthew 4:1-11

Every time that Satan tempted Jesus he quotes scripture back to him. Jesus was stuck out in that desert wilderness for 40 days! No food, no water, for 40 long days and long nights... and when Satan tempted him to turn those stones into bread he could have done it. He could have said 'ya know what, I am the son of God and I am hungry and I am going to eat!' But instead he fully submerged himself in the word of God and said 'get away from me Satan, my father gives me EVERY thing I need!' I know you're probably sitting there right now going, 'but that was Jesus, I could never be THAT strong!'. And you're right, right now, today, you may not be that strong, but as you grow in your faith and get to know God and rely fully on him, you WILL be that strong one day. Satan couldn't stick around in the presence of God's word, that's how powerful it was, he had to tuck his tail and run away! Think for just a moment how that mighty word could work in your life... think back to the most recent time you were tempted with whatever addiction you struggle with.
For me that was just this afternoon. I went to have lunch in town with my mom and my son. This little place has the most amazing chili cheese fries and chocolate milkshakes ever! Just the type of food that is a real weakness for me. Now, here is a little secret about me for y'all so you won't be fooled into thinking I am any better or stronger than anyone else out there... I am a compulsive over eater. All my life I have filled whatever void there is in my life with food. If food tastes good I just can not stop eating it. No matter how full my stomach feels, I just keep stuffing and stuffing, hoping my heart will feel full too. Of course, it never works, and I feel even worse about myself after, and it takes hours to be able to breathe normal again... but I just keep doing it! Even I don't understand it, but there is the truth of it. So here we are with this big mound of chili and cheese topped goodness and a thick, creamy, chocolaty yumminess to wash it down. Half way through I was getting full. And guess what? Yep, you betcha... enter Satan and his trickery! There he was whispering in my ear, one more bite won't hurt, Jordan, it's so good you know you want to... come on, you don't want to be wasteful do you? Remember, waste not, want not" Oh yes, he knows just how to play into my emotions, what triggers to trip, what strings to pull. I could very well have given into all of that. I could have thought 'ya know what? He's right! I gotta finish this!' And had this been just a month or so ago I probably would have! But today I was empowered by and armed with the word and strength of my father, the King of Kings! Today I was able to tell Satan... 'get outta here you big bully! My God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever! [Ps 73:26] and he provides all that I need! He will fill and fulfill my heart far longer than these fries will fill my tummy! And just like that Satan was gone, Jesus was there, and I didn't keep stuffing my face until I was miserable!
Now I am not trying to brag here, this was one victory today. Tomorrow I might fall flat on my face and end up eating Blue Bell straight out of the carton until I am ready to puke! I certainly hope that doesn't happen, I will pray for the strength to keep that from happening... but my point is any day could be a failure just like any day could be a victory. Praise God that today I had a victory! And pray to God I can have another one tomorrow! The real reason I share this with you guys is so that you see that it wasn't just Jesus being strong, it was the WORD of GOD being too strong for Satan to stand up to it! When we are armed with the word of God there is NO addiction that can keep control of us for very long! Every day might be a battle but with God on your side you can keep racking up the victories until you have won the war!
I know my thoughts can be scattered and spastic at times but I really hope that this blog made at least SOME sense to y'all today. I pray that it helps someone out there who struggles as much as I do. The goal here is to keep blogging for you guys regularly as I go through this bible study so we can be victorious together! Y'all feel free to comment so we can support and pray for each other! Love y'all always!! Don't give up!!